Sanji and the Inlaws
by AllBlueChaser
Summary: A series of drabbles where Sanji meets or is otherwise involved with in-laws. Various pairings and all pretty much Yaoi since that's how I roll. Written for Opyaoi100 originally. X/Sanji. Oh and expect crack.
1. Usopp: Sanji'd be a diff kind of dad

Sanji hadn't met Usopps father in any official way. The man hadn't bothered to be there when Sanji married his son and while he'd been pissed at the time, Usopps later attempts to calm him down by saying he hadn't even seen his father since before his mother died only infuriated the blond more.

Usopp was proud of his papa. Sanji just wanted to kick his teeth in.

But here it was, a chance meeting. The marimo pack mule and himself gathering supplies while everyone else waited back at the ship to shove off and along came the Red Hair Shanks crew from the north side of port.

Sanji sent Zoro back to the ship with what they had so far before he spotted them. He casually followed them into the tavern they chose and sat down right next to the man so obviously his lovers father even without the telltale nose.

After a drink or two and Yasopp was talking about how the call of the sea and adventure seduced him away from his home.

"You know…I know about the call and seduction of the Blues too. One in particular." Sanji started as he snuffed out another butt in the ashtray. "But I would never leave my partner alone to suffer without me. I wouldn't leave my child that idolizes me. If I loved them as my family, I would protect them, no matter what siren song fucking water was whispering in my ear."

"Well that's you buddy."

Sanji didn't really mean to kick his father in law to the ground. The first mate held him back anyway.

"It's okay we're family."

"Family?" Yasopp laughed in denial.

"Here's a hint, Your son is on a ship about to shove off, I really should be getting back to him."


	2. Luffy: One Day Your Prince Will Come

"Sanji…you gonna marry me?"

Sanji pet his captains hair as he felt the man slowly start to fall asleep against his chest.

_Yes._ Is what he wants to say…

"Maybe one day Luffy…." He answers instead.

Because there will be plenty of time for "us" later…now it needs to be about you becoming king and helping them achieve their dreams.

Because "we" would be a distraction to your goals or a weakness enemies could exploit.

Because your father and grandfather are two of the scariest sons of bitches on the planet and they would kill me dead in an instant if they knew what I was doing with you every night.

Maybe one day Luffy…when I'm brave enough to face them and ask them for your hand myself.


	3. OC: A ruse?

Zeff watched as Sanji flitted around the woman like a damn butterfly, asking her if there was anything she needed and not to be too scared of Baraties owner.

She patted his arm reassuringly as Zeff wiped his hands on a dish towel and walked out to meet her at last.

She had long flowing red hair and a fair completion. She wore a sweet sundress that flattered her body but didn't show too much. She seemed prim and proper while her eyes spoke of a more firey side beneath.

The boy did well this time. This would be the kind of girl he could picture his assistant chef with.

If he wasn't so certain the boy was gay, that is.

Zeff took her hand and shook it gently as his eggplant made the introduction.

"Saffron? Such a lovely name." Even her name was perfect to be with a chef, Sanji had really out done himself this time.

They took a seat at a table and the show began…his junior cook launching into a tale of how he had met this vision, how wonderful she was, how deeply he had fallen in love with her, and how one day soon he was sure to propose.

Saffron just giggled and blushed appropriately adding to the story, sometimes affectionately touching Sanjis arm with her fingers as she went. Oh she was good.

"That's where you've been boy, those nights you don't come home? With her?"

Saffron turned red at the implication but eggplant had anticipated this question it seemed.

"Yes, Saffron-chan is so interesting and lovely during our dates I just can't let our heartfelt talks end. Next thing I know, it's morning and you're pissed."

Zeff leveled a deadly look straight into this Saffron girls eye.

"How about it, girlie? You love my cook enough to want to have me for an in-law?" One second, two seconds, ah there was the flinch he had been waiting for. "Just as well this shitty cook isn't fooling anyone. You know brat, when you go missing I've started calling the gay bars first. Hell! I'm on a first name basis with Jasper over at the Dandy Plank! If there is a chance of getting some grandkids that's one thing but your screwing around is no excuse not to be here prepping the breakfast shift."

The girl looked extremely uncomfortable between them and suddenly stood and bolted for the door.

"No! Don't listen to him Saffron-chan!!" Sanji called out after her. He turned back to Zeff fuming. "Crap geezer…..!"

"If it was real she should know what she's on the hook for anyway, right? Now back to work!"

Sanji cursed and took out a cigarette as he skulked back to the kitchen mumbling to himself, Zeff caught it though.

"Next time I see him I am kicking that shitty Jasper right in the fucking head."


	4. Smoker: Entitled

"Aren't you a little old to be with my eggplant?" The old chef inquires with a gruffness the man knows from his time as a marine as more a sneer and threat.

"That's up to him." Smoker bites back. "I can't help how old I am," And it really isn't any of your business, he wants to add. "But he must find the small difference in age worth the trade off of someone more experienced."

Zeffs brow just twitches dangerously and he scoffs as he pulls the tea pot away from the man as he is reaching for it, demanding attention first.

"He's an idiot so it really can't be helped if I have to step in make that decision for him."

Smoker is pretty sure the idiot here is the peg legged one in front of him or maybe himself for falling for a pirate to begin with (even if the mans bounty and pirate status had since been annulled when the World Government fell).

"He's going to be pissed if you interfere."

Zeff shrugged with a smirk.

"I'm the 'crap geezer' anyway."

"Is it because I'm a Marine?" Smoker tries, knowing he could probably get Sanji to marry him without this old bastards approval but knowing he'd feel somehow defeated without it.

"Could be. You're a rather self righteous and entitled bunch, aren't you?"

Before he could respond Sanji returned with sandwiches and Smoker reached for one as the blond pulled the tray from his reach.

"Oi! Oi! Remove your gloves first, bastard! Let's have a little class at the table."

Smoker noticed the pleased look in Zeffs eyes and wondered if he had somehow just won him over by removing his white gloves.

Yeah when it came to the blond…entitled was definitely not the word he'd use.


	5. Law: Ownership

"So when do I meet the in-laws?" Trafalgar Law joked as he leaned back into the pillow. Sanji mumbled something as he sat on the side of the bed and tried to ignore the naked mans hand that tickled across his hip while he tried to button the dress shirt. "Hmm?"

"I said, 'Don't get cocky.'" The blond sighed.

"Too late for that, don't you think?" Law grinned wolfishly at him.

"Just because we did it once doesn't mean I'm going to sail your ass back to East Blue to meet the shitty old geezer."

"_Once?_" Laws grin widened as the cooks face turned scarlet. He pinched Sanjis ass as he stood up just to see the red mark be added to the many others. This wasn't going to be forgotten so easily.

"Bastard."

"Doesn't matter. Crew is like family so I guess I already met them in the bar before I decided you were going to be my bitch." He deserved the kick that landed painfully to his stomach but told himself he let it happen for the nice view of the mans dick and the marks he'd left there too.

The blond lit a cigarette as he looked around for his boxers.

"You're the bitch, remember?"

Law shrugged and thought of his would be inlaws.

"Strawhat would be your mother. He had this panicked look like I was going to steal you away." _Which I am._ "That first mate, the father, suspicious as hell."

Sanji rolled his eyes but he supposed he could see where his nakamas behavior might have looked that way.

Law continued accurately with each crewmate. By the time he slipped on his shoes Sanji felt…worried.

"You really paid attention…"

"Of course…told you I'd decided you were my bitch. I didn't just mean last night."


	6. Duval: Mommy Inspires Commitment

It seemed pretty obvious to Sanji that the person sitting in front of him was Duval dressed in an il-fitting frock of a dress topped with too much make up and a large bouffant blonde wig.

"I'm so glad my handsome son could meet someone so handsome!"

Yeah this wasn't obvious. They weren't even dating officially…just fucking around. Why the leader of the Rosey Life Riders suddenly decided to have Sanji meet his mother while she was in town had left him clueless. Even more so now that is was apparent the man was pretending to be the woman.

"Sorry about the delay, my son left me a message he was detained by some marines but would be here soon."

Yeah sure he would.

Sanji lit a smoke and thought about leaving before changing his mind. If this was some ploy to make him try and take their relationship more seriously he could play along. It shouldn't take much to expose this fake mom for the Duval fraud she was.

He takes her large clumsy hand into his and puts on his most charming smile.

"The truth is madam, that I have been wanting to see your beautiful face for some time now. You see…I love your son and want to make him my bride." The cook smirked as the hand began to shake.

"That's so wonderful!!!" She cried happily. "Do you hear that honey? He loves you after all!"

Sanji follows her eyes to the door that Duval had seemingly entered, opened mouthed and holding a bouquet of roses. Sanjis mouth drops in kind as the large and legitimate mother squeezes him to her chest and begins making plans for Duval and her other handsome future son in law.


	7. Ace: Meeting of the Old Men

Whitebeards health hadn't been the greatest lately but the food he was eating now was possibly the best he had ever tasted inside the Grandline or out and he couldn't help but think it was helping him heal a bit.

Red Leg Zeff sat across from him at the table, not seeming to notice how he was dwarfed in size to this company nor the fact that the oversized guest was considered the most powerful pirate in the world by most.

The man stroked his long mustache (that Whitebeard had to admit was a fine looking one) and frowned in thought.

"It surprised me when that brat came in all fired up and saying he wanted to get married. Even before I knew who he was considering."

Whitebeard almost reacts before realizing that the man is talking about his own son and not his.

"Yeah. My brat doesn't seem the type to settle either."

It's now Zeffs turn as he almost lashes out before deciding the pirate means settling down in general and not settling for his little eggplant.

The two look at each other in mute scrutiny even as Sanji pushes out the next huge cart piled high with food. Both notice that Ace is in the kitchen when the door swings shut behind the blond. They both notice the blonds jacket had been left somewhere since they saw him fifteen minutes earlier and the buttons on his dress shirt are crooked from half way down.

Quite frankly it is so obvious it's embarrassing.

"Please accept my idiot son into your family." They both voice at once and Sanji looks from one to the other as this breaks some unknown tension and the two men laugh loudly in understanding.

It was going to be one hell of a wedding.


	8. Zoro: Answering Sensei

"No smoking in the dojo."

Of course Zoro had already told him that but somehow the Sensei's' silent and intense scrutiny had made him nervous and the cigarette had come into his hand and lit itself entirely on its own accord.

"Shit…sorry." He twisted the butt into the ground quickly and felt keenly aware how much he was fucking up as the swordsmans teacher frowned deeper.

Smoking, language, and disrespecting the matts that protected the dojos floor. The silence was thick.

Sanji jumped up as Zoro finally returned with the forgotten legal documents that sensei would need to sign if this was going to be official.

Zoro looked at him in question and Sanji floundered for a moment, not wanting to admit even silently how uncomfortable he had let the situation become.

"Let me fix you and Sensei some tea. Where is the…?"

Zoro nodded behind him to a far door on the left and the blond cooks long legs were striding there with purpose, not turning back.

"First you become a pirate and now this. Are you sure you don't have any regrets, Zoro?"

"Never."

"Why him? Someone so rough and disrespectful?"

Zoro laughs hearing Sanjis common complaint with him being directed back on the blond before realizing his only father figure is completely serious.

"He ties himself to his own code of honor with as much conviction as I ever have and is tough enough to face me honestly without hesitation."

Sensei seems surprised at this but not, after all if they are here talking about marriage it must be serious.

"I guess it doesn't matter in the end as long as you love each other and still have your conviction."

Zoro nods at the hidden question.

"Both burn stronger than ever."

With that the paper's signed.


End file.
